she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
