Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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