Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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