you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
