i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
