im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
