it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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