I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
