So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
