if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
