Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
