OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Enjoy the penises
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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