Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
