There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
