There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
