you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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