come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
