at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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