arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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