If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
