no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
