There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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