ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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