Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
