genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
