The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
