Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
