he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
