i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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