People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
