College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
