Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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