if only i could text you this smell
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
