would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
