Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
