i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
