your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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