Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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