he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
pray to the hookup gods
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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