Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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