i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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