a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
