Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
