Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
