My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Less talking, more tequila
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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