I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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