is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
