So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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