that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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