I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
