So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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