I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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