This is not my ceiling
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
