soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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