Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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