I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
