the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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